Monday, March 2, 2015

Month Twenty One - Saying Goodbye Part 10 - The Final Goodbye

This past Friday, February 27th, we said our final goodbye to Bubba. He was in our care for twenty one months and one week. We knew since July that this day was going to happen (just not the exact date) and I am glad that it has come and gone. We knew it would be tough to say goodbye even though we had seven months to process it. It was a very sad day, the hardest part was leaving the house for the last time with him. Uploading these few pictures to edit them made me cry, but I keep telling myself that it is OK to be sad. It's even healing to get out a few tears every now and then. How can you not get emotional when someone was in your life for a good chunk of time and then they are just not anymore? But for the most part we are doing really well and have so much to be grateful for as this time with Bubba came to an end.

The transition could not have gone any smoother in my opinion. Bubba spent two whole weekends with his mom and siblings before he returned for good. He would never cry when we dropped him off and picked him up which was a great sign. We were able to have contact with his mom and it was all very pleasant for the most part. When we dropped him off on Friday we brought all his things which included clothes, favorite toys and books, quilt and blanket made by Jake's mom and grandmother, doctor check up papers and newborn hat and onesie he wore, and life book with pictures of the time he spent with us. It was nice being able to see where he would be living, gave us a peace of mind. The actual drop off was positive, we talked to his mom and her sister for awhile then gave him hugs and kisses. Beforehand I was a little bit nervous to see how Ivy would react to this final goodbye. I have been amazed by that girl, she has been pretty much her normal happy self. I truly believe it is because of her brother Maccoy that she has been able to handle this so well. God's timing in bringing him into our family was perfect. Jake and I agree that this would have been much harder if we didn't have our sweet baby boy in our family.

So now this chapter has come to an end, it's strange that it is over. It's going to take time for the ache in our hearts to go away but we wouldn't have changed our minds about welcoming him into our home even if we had known he wouldn't stay. So many people have said to me "I could never do that, I could never take care of a child then have to let them go." When you chose to become a foster parent you know there is a pretty good chance that the child could leave you eventually. But the time you give that child to be part of a loving home environment is so positive to their life and the joy that comes from that is much stronger than the sadness of having to say goodbye. Now that I have been through it I can say that and truly mean it. It's been a journey that has made me more patient, understanding, and forgiving. Consider becoming a foster parent, you can help change a life and in the process your life will also be changed.