Thursday, January 22, 2015

Month Twenty - Saying Goodbye Part 9

We took the kids to Payson a few weeks ago to play in the snow. Ivy loved it of course, Bubba was pretty confused by his gloves and the wet white stuff, and Maccoy and I enjoyed watching them play from the warmth of our car:)

This month has been a strange one, not that anything new has happened really, just inside I have had many different thoughts, feelings, and emotions. There have been days (more towards the beginning of this month 20) where I have felt a darkness wash over me where my thoughts have been negative and the feelings of being stuck in this process have just felt heavy. Bubba went through a rough patch of not feeling very well and also acting out a bit. You know, the normal toddler tantrums and hitting. Since he started daycare in September he has had a constant runny nose along with other not so fun symptoms. Visits started up but then there was a week where the case aide who supervises the visits was sick so the visit was canceled. Thankfully towards the end of this month I have felt the heaviness melt away and a lightness begin to take its place. And that's just part of life I think, no matter what is going on. There are good days and there are bad days. But I have been encouraged to not let my emotions rule me which can be a challenge. I am thankful for all the support we continue to have. I don't know what I would do without my family and the help they have given us.

Bubba's case worker came over yesterday but didn't have much news for us really. She said that his mom is continuing to take her classes and has passed her home inspection which is good to hear. Sounds like she is at a place where she is ready for Bubba to come live with her BUT apparently we are waiting on what is called a reunification team to be put in place. And they are behind, which is no surprise but is frustrating since he was originally supposed to be going back to his mom in November. The case worker said that towards the end of February she would like there to be a date in place for him to return to his mom. We are planning a trip during Ivy's spring break (third week of March) and I asked her if she thinks Bubba will be returning before then (so we wouldn't have to set up respite for him) and she said if he isn't back by then she will be very disappointed. So we continue to wait.

We have told Ivy that her foster brother will probably be returning to his mom before her Birthday in May (since we don't have a date yet but believe it will be before then). So far she has been doing well knowing he will be leaving. We try to be honest with her and answer her question when she has them. We are so proud of her and how she has handled everything! We are also so proud of how well she is doing at school and we celebrated her getting student of the month a few weeks ago. It was so fun having family members come to cheer her on at the little ceremony where she got her certificate:)

And our little Maccoy boy has been nothing but a joy since he joined our family in November! I am continually thankful that God brought him into our life during what has been a challenging time. He is a gift to us all.

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